Records
ROCKET SURGERY (VINYL EP)
6-song limited edition of 300 records in hand screened and numbered sleeves, recorded through a 4-track onto a calculator with a state-of-the-art LCD screen. The songwriting is groundbreaking, the performances are flawless and the fidelity is unmatched. You would not believe the trouble we have gone to for you. It wasn't enough that we hand recorded each song, using traditional craftsmanship, learned real good to us by our grandmothers. No sir bub, we then hand screened each cover, by hand, with our bare hands. Not satisfied yet? Well neither were we, that's why we used the droppings of a Yeti for the ink. Imagine the pride you will feel at owning one of only three hundred of these, hand recorded, hand screened, hand numbered works of genius. It will be sweeter than owning a giant SUV that runs on the tears of virgins, tears made of pegasus blood and cyclopse semen.
A NEW PEAK IN LOWDOWNNESS (CD)
Lucky for you, we still have copies of this devastatingly good album. But suppose you don't want to order online? Suppose you don't go for all that new-fangled howdy doody. Well friend, neither do we. Sure, you could grab granny's Chargex and pick up this fine long player at an astonishingly low price. But you just might be happier if you marched up to the stage after one of our legendary displays of virtuosity and demanded an album. Then you could pay the secret price.
SHASHBO (CD or LP)
So you're thinking, this smells like a cash grab. Its like those AC/DC albums where there was one new song and the rest were all bullshit you'd already heard. Well this is soooo different from that. First off we have all new album artwork (see it big by clicking on the cover to our left here). Second, the covers were mechanically reproduced to ensure consistency. Second..? there are three songs that weren't on the advance taster release of Shashbo. And third of all it was remastered by Todd Simco who also mastered the New Pornographers and that album that Phil Collins and Eric Clapton did together. The bottom line is that this version of Shashbo is so different from the last one that you should buy both. Its put out by Boompa Records.
SLOW ACTION (CD)
This is the first ever album recorded on microfiche using an optical encoder and a 37-point photo-cell switching aray! In other words, all frequencies, timbers and amplitudes were generated mentally before being converted to light, through metaphysical visualisations. The resulting light was projected onto a photo sensitive screen, the exposed portions of which became insoluable in pure ether. The ether screen solution was immediately consumed, causing irreversible liver and brain damage. Undaunted, the composers fed the insoluable scraps of jellied ether to various endangered animals, all of which succumbed to the effects of the poison. The resulting carcasses were served at a gala fundraiser for the Run Chico Run association for the financial betterment of Run Chico Run and partners. Celebrity guests were charged 300 dollars a plate to dine on said poisoned endangered animal carcasses. The floors grew sticky with blood as hundreds of Hollywood's best and brightest used their well cared for teeth and powerful jaws to crack open bones so that the succulent marrow could be more easily enjoyed. All moneys generated were used to hire Boz Scaggs to write and record the album which is being sold as "Slow Action".
MELEE (CD)
There are still a few copies of this realy super CD left. We should warn you that they have been selling so darn briskly, we might run out really soon. Who knows? They might have all been bought up by discerning individuals of exquisite taste, like yourself for instance. We don't quite know. We are too busy crashing our motorcycles and forgetting our jewelry at Versace parties. We have to leave all that unit moving. To all the beautiful and firm young employees of the Run Chico Run foundation for solitary role playing game enthusiasts and bed wetters incorporated.
LOFIMOFO (CASSETTE)
It has been said that this rare little morsel is RCR's finest musical offering. Furthermore, it has been alleged that since it's 1997 release, the band has been on a professional and personal decline, rife with shoplifting arrests and mothball sucking induced brain damage. I mean, you don't have to be a forensic documentarian to realize that they weren't born drooling, grunting knuckle draggers. However none of this has been proven. If you had your own copy of Lofimofo, you could judge for yourself. But you don't have a copy, because we had all the copies and we burned every last musically brilliant one of them. So you will just have to take us at our word when we say that it was good, but not as good as their subsequent releases, each of which has surpassed all previous efforts. And as long as you are going to believe that, you should also know that they have scored very well on various federally sanctioned aptitude tests. Furthermore, their posture is above reproach and they pose no immediate threat to themselves or nursing mothers.
